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Central Intelligence Agency (198.81.129.194) [Label IP Address]

Reston, Virginia, United States, 0 returning visits

Date	Time	Type	WebPage
4th January 2010	10:44:48	Page View	No referring link lifeisatri.blogspot.com/

Maybe they read this post about a recent flying experience.

Omaha's the Closest I'll Get To Paris This Year

So I was at my favorite little Omaha bistro last weekend, sitting at a sidewalk table enjoying the Parisian gestalt, when a friend of a friend stopped by, sized me up and said I needed to GAIN weight!

Thanks, Darlin'! Kinder words were never spoken, at least where I'm concerned and CERTAINLY not in Omaha!

By the way, after 2,000 miles of driving, I'm not sure which is the bigger waste of statehood - Oklahoma or Arkansas. Right now I'm thinking Oklahoma due to the amount of disorganized, utterly incomprehensible, traffic-snarling road construction.

I think I saw a certain ex-President chasing a bimbo through an Arkansas Burger King. Don't ask me what I was doing there...gaining weight, maybe.

This Is What Happens When I Ruminate

I've been thinking.  Always dangerous, I know.  But several of you, dear readers, have pointed out in comments and e-mails how cranky I've been lately.  And even though I kinda like being cranky, I've done enough self-reflection to come to a conclusion:

We - you and me -  don't drink enough wine.

Yep.  So henceforth, before I flay somebody - even somebody from the New York Times - I'm gonna invite 'em to the Great Suburban Outback for a home-cooked dinner and a good bottle of wine or three.  We'll discuss the state of the world and issues big and small.  I'm betting we'll agree more than we'll disagree.  We'll enjoy the fireplace and the sun setting over the lake.

I'll send 'em home with a coupon for anti-Camden the Wonder Dog dry-cleaning.  And then I'll report on what we AGREED upon instead of ranting about a DISAGREEMENT with someone I've never met.  

Of course they may not show up, but if they refuse my invitation I'm gonna do what I do best and light 'em up.  They had their chance.  Of course if they DO show up they're free to complain about the wretched food.  Fair's fair.

Call it a New Years' resolution, the first I've ever made except for the annual promise to never make an annual promise.

The big question is who to invite first.  Any suggestions?  It seems that the only interesting people I can think of are all, well, dead.

Is 'Eternity' A MapQuest Destination?

Not too long ago, I facilitated a 2-day retreat for 75 pastors and clergy on the topic of church growth.  I can't help comparing that group with the physicians and hospital leaders making up my usual audience.

Simply put: physicians will tell you to go to hell.  Pastors will supply you with turn-by-turn directions.

C'mon, I'm Tryin' To Be Good! Really!

Rats.  I just re-checked this blog's rating.  Still NC-17.  And here I thought I was being so good.  They tell me I've used too many words like hell (8x), ass (7x), death (5x), sex (3x), gun (2x) and dangerous (1x).

I've gotta stop blogging about politics.

An Early Morning Ass-Kicking

I saw CoachKaryn at Steelhead a few weeks ago.  Now an E-mail message arrives:

"Hi (Vertical Man),

"Great to hear from you. My new cell is xxx-xxx-xxxx. Would love to catch up!

"Is your 2 year taper finally OVER??? :)

"Karyn"

Well yes, I think it is thanks for asking!

The following landed in my e-mail inbox a short time after the CtWD post below went 'live:'

"I read your blog- The only thing I can say is... BE NICE---Stop picking on the poor puppy. And put the soup out of his reach. Give him a break- he just got castrated. has nothing to do with HIS IQ. Just think how you would feel. OUCH! At first when I read he got"de-balled" I thought he had a hair"ball" issue. I had to read it a second time. Poor baby! Welcome to Fatherhood AGAIN! And he's a bouncing baby IT!"

OK, I've been duly chastised.