Apologies To Thelma

Geez Louise! I’m back in the GSO after 2 days of little sleep, 890 endlessly-delayed frequent flier miles on American Airlines, 1,200 miles of driving, moving another Tri-Daughter into her Bucktown digs and one squashed raccoon.

An early-morning Saturday limousine ride deposited me at Chicago’s O’Hare Intergalactic Jetport Thingie where, despite my frequent flier status, I paid my "checked baggage fee" (with tip I might add...) and trudged through another hellish line for security screening. I dunno what’s with those TSA screeners. Hell, even I think I look more like a terrorist than some of those poor souls singled out for full-body patdowns...80 year-old Swedish grandmothers and such. If I was the TSA I’d NEVER let ME on a plane....

But they did though we were an hour late in boarding which, given the state of air travel today, probably counts as on-time. The reason, as recounted over the intercom by the plane’s pilot, involved our AWOL co-pilot spending the previous night in a Tulsa, OK hotel. As if a night in Tulsa wasn’t bad enough, his hotel also happened to be hosting a firefighters convention.

I’m not sure what firefighters do at conventions. I’ve always assumed it never went much beyond shiny poles and labial strippers. But THESE manly men (and undoubtedly a few women) decided to demonstrate their firefighting prowess by setting fire to...the hotel’s ballroom. And so it was that, after several hours of alarms and commotion, said co-pilot was sleep-deprived and in no condition to fly. We waited an hour for another to arrive from St. Louis, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, everything you want in a co-pilot.

Tri-Daughter #4 greeted me at the Denver airport; we pointed her new Audi eastward, set the cruise control on 115 and the air conditioning on 55. Six hundred miles later we stopped to meet Great Plains friends for dinner and a reminder tour of GP attractions...which took all of about 4.36 minutes. At the risk of further captiousness, I’ll simply say that western Nebraska is a veritable cradle of civilization compared to north-eastern Colorado.  HOLY TUMBLEWEEDS BATMAN!

Next morning, after a night of more sirens (tornado, this time) we continued across flooded, soggy Iowa and Illinois.  Storms chased us the whole way, or maybe we chased them. Whatever.  Anyway, T-D #4’s safely moved into her summer place, enjoying all that Chicago has to offer.