The Un-Friendly Skies

Yes, I know this is a triathlon blog, but once in a while I reserve the right to rant about customer service. Don't like it? Don't read it.

Several years ago, we had a family vacation ensnared and nearly ruined by United Airlines's labor "slowdown." We'd been fairly loyal UAL customers 'til then, but watching one homebound flight after another get cancelled was such a miserable experience that we began to avoid them at all costs.

UAL, though, is such a big presence at O'Hare that it's difficult to avoid them forever, and we've now entrusted them with vacations three times in the last nine months. Each time we've experienced a level of customer service that, if not markedly better than other airlines, was certainly no worse. Our flights departed and arrived on time, disgorging our persons, our luggage and our dignity more or less intact.

My improving attitude toward UAL may have ended last night as we flew home from Denver. We boarded and left the gate exactly on time. (Chalk one up for United's on-time departure record.) But we didn't take off. No, we waited on the taxiway because O'Hare was saturated, whatever that means.

Two hours later we landed at saturated, snowy O'Hare (actually arriving a few minutes early) only to find our assigned gate already occupied. More taxiway waiting ensued, despite the fact that half of the terminal's gates were empty. Moving us to one of those empty gates was apparently too complicated.

Once the gate cleared we started to move again, only to be blocked by a traffic jam, i.e. too many planes all trying to taxi in the same direction at the same time.

Arriving finally at the gate we find...NOBODY, as in nobody available to drive the jetway (the tunnel thingy that you exit the plane on.) Yet we pulled into a gate that another flight had vacated just a few minutes before (the flight that was blocking us, remember?) The same person that drove the jetway for THAT flight was unavailable to drive it for ours. Something good on TV?

With the jetway finally in place, passengers start exiting only to have THE PLANE'S ELECTRICAL POWER GO OUT! Not most of the power or some of the power. ALL power, including lights that point the way to emergency exits. Total darkness... except for the pilot's handheld flashlight. (Must've been a Boy Scout.)

The lights come back on after several minutes, probably after a UAL mechanic makes a Home Depot run to buy an extension cord. We depart the plane and head to baggage claim...where our luggage is first off the plane.

Yes, the flight met our essential expectations: we departed and arrived "on time" (to use the FAA's definition), our luggage made the trip with us and the flight was basically smooth and uneventful. Any ONE of the above snafus would've been no big deal. Put 'em all together though, and I think we're flying American next time.