Pretty Soon Starvation Will Be the Trendiest Diet Of Them All!

Once upon a time it was OK to eat meat, red and otherwise. A time when butter, eggs and cream were staples. The French do it, gleefully, and suffer far lower rates of heart disease and other uniquely American maladies.

But no, we couldn’t be like the French, could we? Sacre bleau!

And so red meat was jettisoned, leaving ‘healthy’ meats like fish and poultry.

Then it was better to be vegetarian, no meat at all.

But if vegetarianism is good then vegan must be even better.

And if vegan is good then raw, unsullied, virgin food is the ne plus ultra!

Pretty soon starvation will be the trendiest diet of them all. After all, who’d want a carrot to feel the pain of cold steel?

Me? I’m sticking to the Mediterranean diet – olive oil, fish, poultry, pasta, bread, nuts, fresh fruit and vegetables, salads, healthy dairy, intense black coffee, red wine. 60% carbs, 20% each protein and healthy fats.

And the next time an overweight, undernourished, teetotalling, carrot-crunching vegan throws some dietary criticism my way, I’m gonna invite her onto the triathlon course and kick her ass. Kindly, in a manner befitting the emotionally sensitive, growthful, modern kinda guy that I am.

Not that I have anyone particular in mind...

Sports drinks vs. energy bars vs. gels

From The New York Times: the relative merits of sports drinks, energy bars and gels. The conclusion:

"...the researchers found...that the carbohydrates from the gels and the sports bars were being metabolized as quickly and as efficiently as those from the sports drink."

On not giving in...

Chris Lieto: Triathlon training is mind over body. Skip the weights in favor of core training. Some tempo work is necessary but there's a reason most training is long and slow. Finally, high-quality calories fuel the machine, so go eat something!

The Michael Phelps Diet: 12,000 Calories Per Day

Wondering how Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps fuels up? From the Wall Street Journal's Health Blog, Phelps' typical menu includes (and no, he doesn't choose among these options. He eats them all...)

Breakfast: Three fried-egg sandwiches loaded with cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, fried onions and mayonnaise. Two cups of coffee. One five-egg omelet. One bowl of grits. Three slices of French toast topped with powdered sugar. Three chocolate-chip pancakes.

Lunch: One pound of enriched pasta. Two large ham and cheese sandwiches with mayo on white bread. Energy drinks packing 1,000 calories.

Dinner: One pound of pasta. An entire pizza. More energy drinks.

When training for my first half-Ironman, I was forced to increase my daily intake to 6,000 calories a day for several months. Blech. I thought I'd like it. I didn't.