Fleeting and Random Super Bowl Impressions

Stream-of-consciousness, live blogging Super Bowl ex-ex-eye-eye-vee-vee whatever. I never could figure out Roman numerals.

I'm pulling for the Pats to shut up the Grumpy Old Bastards (a.k.a. the 1972 Miami Dolphins.)

Halftime...Oh...My...God. How lame has Tom Petty become? His first few songs just LAID THERE, trying (and failing miserably, horribly, wretchedly) to overcome his draggy-assed voice and catatonic tempos. Not even his totally cool Rickenbacker guiter nor "Running Down A Dream" could elevate the worst half-time show in decades. Janet Jackson's perky right nipple woulda been an improvement and, as partial as I am to nipples, that's not saying much.

Next year's halftime show'll probably feature Liberace. Wait...he's dead, though I doubt the NFL cares. He'll rock harder than Tom Petty did.

UPDATE: Looks like my review of Petty's performance is decidedly in the minority. Oh well. Maybe the Zinfandel clouded my judgement.

The Audi supercar ad was cool. The screaming rodents were cool, too...a tire commercial, I think. The Dalmation training a Clydesdale was OK, 'course Dalmations are mean and Clydesdales untrainable... Most ads for Fox's TV shows sucked just like the shows themselves. I guess it's tough to polish kitty litter. Cars.com ad...blech. SalesGenie.com ad...snarfed sewer water.

The spinach lasagna I made and served during halftime was pretty good, certainly better than Tom Petty. The Gary Farrell 2005 Zinfandel might have been the best wine I've ever had in my entire life.

NASCAR must stand for the National Association of Stupid, Catatonic, A**hole Retards. I'm just sayin...

Hyundai: here's a marketing tip for ya. Quit comparing your car to a Mercedes. Otherwise I might just have to go buy a...BMW.

Pat's Wes Welker...chalk one up for skinny, emaciated white guys.

4th quarter...7-3 Patriots...I shoulda bet the under.

R.W. McQuarters couldn't cover ME when he played for the Bears. Now he's playin' for the Giants in the SuperBowl. Someone should check him for artificial gene juice. I'm just sayin...

Rule #1: all Coke ads stink. Rule #2: if ya don't know what to think of Coke's ads, re-read Rule #1.

Oh goody. A talking baby ad. E*Trade should be ashamed. 'Course they look good compared to someone thinking "outside the bun." Gross.

"House" is a great show. Too bad he'd never survive in a real-life health care organization. All the simple-minded, anal-retentive dipwads would gang up on him and he'd just suddenly, quietly disappear, leaving only a smug, self-satisfied "gotcha" grin on the dipwads' faces. "House" is my hero.

How stupid must one be to be Will Farrell?

Yay. An ad with a Bengals' wide receiver. Last I checked the Bengals missed the playoffs. Why would I want to hear from them?

I woulda never said this several years ago, but Randy Moss rules! He's a great example of someone who worked too long for brain-dead organizations (cough...Raiders...cough) and flourished when he didn't.

Fat stupid guy...dead battery...nipple clamps. Um-hum. Can you imagine a bunch of 20-something creative types sitting in some ad agency somewhere coming up with this dreck? And getting paid for it?? AND GETTING YOU TO WATCH??? They're stupid but what are you????

Damn. New York's ahead late in the game. Looks like it may be 35 more years of listening to the Grumpy Old Bastards. Here's hoping old age sneaks up on 'em rather quickly and they forget all about 1972.

Oh well. It's not like the Bears lost or anything.