March Shout-Outs

Here’s a belated list of all things celebratory and shout-out-atory in the mad month of March.

Say “welcome” (in loosely alphabetical order) to American Diabetes Alert Day, American Red Cross Month, Safe Spring Break (are ya listening Tri-Daughters?), Brain Awareness Week (that’s presuming a lot, isn’t it?), Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Awareness Month, Doctor's Day (I thought EVERY day was Doctor's Day...), Hemophilia Month, Kick Butts Day (oh, THAT kind of butt...), Multiple Sclerosis Education & Awareness Month, Nutrition Month, Problem Gambling Awareness Week (what’re the odds, anyway?), Professional Social Work Month, School Breakfast Week and (my personal favorite) Sleep Awareness Week.

For some reason, March is the month for eyes, bringing with it Save Your Vision Month, Sports Eye Safety Month, Workplace Eye Safety Month, (and for those who ignore these messages) Eye Donor Month.

And so, as this wretched winter draws finally to a close and I try to figure out the latest mini-Y2K fiasco caused by an evil cabal of Microsoft’s sales department and clockwatching DST geeks, recognize that there are still good folks out there doing work worth celebrating.

And spring breakers? Let's be careful out there!

Is political humor an oxymoron?

"According to a report by this genealogist, Al Sharpton's ancestors were slaves once owned by Strom Thurmond's relatives. Now Al Sharpton wants a DNA test to see if they are related. And you know, somehow, this is going to end up that Strom Thurmond is the the father of Anna Nicole's baby." --Jay Leno

"Kind of an embarrassing situation for Al Gore with his whole global warming thing. Turns out his Tennessee home has been using 20 times the energy as the average household. To be fair, it is still not as much energy as John Edwards' blow-dryer is using." --Jay Leno

"Iran is going to build an island just for women who want to vacation. No men will be allowed. ... Which of course leads to the philosophical question: If something goes wrong, whose fault will it be?" -Jay Leno