"Men Staring..."

Yesterday it was the ugly sight of "Men Who Stare At Screens." Today, it's men staring at farm animals and a reminder that I'd failed to post a review of "Men Who Stare At Goats," a recent pay-per-view evening's entertainment.

So here it is, better late than never, and don't say you weren't warned;

"Saw "The Men Who Stare At Goats" last night. My review: a cub reporter (Dennis the Menace?) meets the characters from Tom Wolfe's "The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test" and, together, they all stage an off-off-off-Broadway remake of "Apocalypse Now" done as an ironic comedy. What the hell was George Clooney thinking?"

Now take that $10 you woulda spent on the movie, send $5 to me and donate the rest to some charity for deranged actors. Don't you feel better?

Captious, that's me...

Crank e-Gels. Use 'em Or Lose.

I don't do a lot of product reviews, but I'm a huge fan of Crank e-Gels and so, for them, I'm making an exception. They're calorie-intense, they taste good (unlike all their Karo Syrup-like wretched competitors) and they've got a good electrolyte load to keep you Vertical on a hot, difficult day.

Believe me, I know. Besides, who wants to eat something pronounced 'Goo?'

And no, I'm not paid for my endorsements. I pay the same prices you do. More's the pity.