Super Bowl Dreams

So the New England Patriots won on Sunday and are now one game away from truly, finally, everlastingly shutting up the Grumpy Old Bastards, a.k.a. the undefeated 1972 Miami Dolphins.

Wait, what am I thinking? These Grumpy Old Bastards don't EVAH shut up, as Dolphin alum Mercury Morris proved this morning on ESPN Radio, opining that "...NEVAH AGAIN will we see a team as good as the '72 Dolphins! We're the best team EVAH, much better even than a possible Super Bowl-winning, undefeated Patriots team who will be only the SECOND-BEST team EVAH...!" Good God. As if we needed more proof about concussive brain damage...

I'd planned to root for the hated, loathsome Green Bay Packers in Sunday's second game, hoping to avoid a New York vs. New England, east coast-centric Super Bowl. But 5 minutes into the first quarter I realized...I...couldn't...do...it... I tried. I really did. It just felt so damn unnatural, like an act against nature or being sexually attracted to a cow or something. Ewwww. Blech.

Happily, all those life-long Chicagoan genes asserted themselves and I cheered the Giants' overtime victory like any real Bears fan should've. And just to gloat a bit, the cheeseheads' draggy-assed post-game complaints published in yesterday's Milwaukee newspaper were hilarious...poorly spelled but hilarious. And I'll bet frostbitten nipples hurt a lot.

Uh-oh. My blog rating just sunk further into the NC-17 abyss. Man, I'm NEVAH gettin' back to PG. I should be entitled to some kind of special dispensation whenever a rant includes the Packers.