Sunday, December 16, 2007

Carpetbaggers

OH THE GREAT PLAINS OUTSIDE ARE FRIGHTFUL! BUT THE FIRE IS SO DELIGHTFUL!  AND SINCE THERE'S NO PLACE TO GO...ummm...yeah there's no effin' place to go.


Quite a melody if a damn depressing one.  Hang in there VM.  Better locations are just around the corner.  Meanwhile, the Great Plains - seemingly lacking any other discernible purpose - are at least good for comic relief once in a while, especially around election season.

You see, there’s an adjacent state that has some sorta statewide, group masturbatory moment coming up, a “caucus” or something, that matters a lot to politicians and reporters and only obliquely to anybody with a real life. I’ve always said that the word “politics” has two roots: ‘poly’ as in many, and ‘tics’ as in festering, swollen, blood-sucking parasites. Yet it’s difficult to really blame politicians for their mating and work habits.  They are what they are; more’s the pity.

But why must they always be accompanied by grinning, ass-licking entertainment industry nitwits?  Yes, just across the state line next door, like Orcs on a virginal Hobbit, like bedbugs in a fleabag motel, slavering hordes of these carpet-bagging star/dilettantes are busily molesting poor unsuspecting voters. Lobbying, stumping, advising, sounding at every turn like the blithering idiots they surely must be, all to help those considered too dumb to move someplace better than fly-over country appreciate their - and their favorite candidate’s - overwhelming wisdom and all-around really neato commitment to a saner planet.

It’s a nauseating sight. That cocooned coastal coddling, the fawning adoration, the feting, pampering and catering-to all producing successive generations of spoiled, stupid narcissists - so stupid in fact that they legitimately believe they have some hard-won insights that the rest of us are on pins and needles waiting for, breathless in anticipation.

I kinda like Obama. And, Oprah may be the greatest thing to hit day-time TV since Gilligan's Island reruns (I'm a MaryAnn guy myself; I think I saw the Professor doin' Ginger down by the lagoon...) But if Her Royal Oprahness alone causes a vote for one candidate over another, well, paraphrasing H.L. Mencken, once again the American Voter will have gotten what the American Voter deserves and gotten it good and hard. Just like Ginger.

And Kevin Bacon? I'm hoping it's more like 6 BILLION degrees of separation.

iPod Shuffle: "Half Moon" by Janis Joplin, from "18 Essential Songs." Janis rocks.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I'm voting for whomever Daniel Craig accompanies on the campaign trail! Even if it were Harry Reid, "Hey, I really DID think she could swim" Edward Kennedy, or Al Franken. They've got MY vote if Double "O" shows up with them. Ummmmm....double "O"?!! Maybe THAT's why I like the man????