"Lovie" Ain't No Name For A Football Coach

No other way to describe it. Bears’ coach Lovie Smith is reputedly a truly “nice guy,” a non-swearer, non-yeller, unflappable sorta fellow. I'll buy that. I like nice people, most of the time. Hell, I think I'm a nice person, most of the time.

But I'm not paid to be an NFL coach! So here’s the deal, Lovie. One bloomin' time, why doncha grab your so-called “stars” by the stinkin' balls and start twisting and cursing and not relax your grip until they prove they have some testosterone in their miserable, overpaid bodies and are willing to use it on the blankin' football field to hit someone so hard his blinkin' eyes roll back in his flippin' head??!!

Make ‘em watch 24 uninterrupted hours of Dick Butkus knocking the snot out of some poor, hapless Green Bay effin' Packer. I don’t really give a flyin' bat fart how stoic and nice you are, Lovie! I wanna see blood! In the meantime we’re stuck with a Bears team rapidly earning a tie with the local Big 12 team for the BIGGEST FOOTBALL FRAUD OF 2007.

I’m just sayin...